Why the Confederacy lost the American Civil War

[Charles Darwin Esq]

Kentucky:
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused,about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from theUniversity of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would You take off?" the secretary thought a moment, and then replied,"Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Kentucky women.

Alabama:
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Louisiana:
A senior at Louisiana State was overheard saying...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi:
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

Tennessee:
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

North Carolina:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passer by studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passer by asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

[AjarnLOS]

http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html

[Bertie Bassett]

The following was reportedly overheard in Edinburgh:
American tourist: Isn't it great the way they built the castle so near the train station?

The following was definitely overheard in Edinburgh (I overheard it):
American tourist to assistant in shop, pointing through the window: Excuse me, but is THAT the castle?
(To her credit she was in fact correct)

[The Architect]

The following was reportedly overheard in Edinburgh:
American tourist: Isn't it great the way they built the castle so near the train station?

The following was definitely overheard in Edinburgh (I overheard it):
American tourist to assistant in shop, pointing through the window: Excuse me, but is THAT the castle?
(To her credit she was in fact correct)


Oh that's not the worst - I've been asked "Have I missed the One O'Clock Gun?" at about 3.30.

A friend of mine at St Andrew's heard an American student tell her parents "Yeah, it's named after Saint Andrew Murray!"

even had a Japanese couple ask a group of my friends how to get to Glasgow.... on Princes Street.

[2JAYZ]

Another couple of true ones.

Was walking though a wee shopping mall type place in Monterey California one day. Outside one of the shops was this 6 to 7 foot cuddly soft toy of a penguin.

2 older girls/students walked past and one said, Oh how cute a real live sized toy penguin.


A few years back a US rep from a supplier came over to visit one of our buyers. He did not rent a car because he had seen Rob Roy and thought you could walk everywhere.

[Charles Darwin Esq]

I was actually stopped by an American tourist in Castle Street, Edinburgh (sorry, that's Eedinboro for our colonial friends). Typical yank tourist: fat with shorts, USA T-shirt and St Andrews Home of Golf tartan baseball cap - you probably know the type.

Anyway, he asked me where the castle was. When I pointed out it was the huge stone structure sitting atop the giant rocky outcrop filling his entire view to the south he was crestfallen. "Ah shoot! This street doesn't go there, so I guessed you guys had 2 castles" was his response.

I replied with "have a nice day now" before walking off in disbelief.

[Draca]

Anyway, he asked me where the castle was. When I pointed out it was the huge stone structure sitting atop the giant rocky outcrop filling his entire view to the south he was crestfallen. "Ah shoot! This street doesn't go there, so I guessed you guys had 2 castles" was his response.

I replied with "have a nice day now" before walking off in disbelief.

Edinburgh *does* have two castles, though. Admittedly, Princes St doesn't lead to Craigmillar Castle either so he'd still be put out - but it'd have been fun watching him try

[Bertie Bassett]

Edinburgh *does* have two castles, though. Admittedly, Princes St doesn't lead to Craigmillar Castle either so he'd still be put out - but it'd have been fun watching him try

But you can get a bus from Princes Street that takes you pretty close.

[Livi crazy]

My teacher told me this one last year

she was working in a shop on Princes Street and two Americans walk in and said "could you tell us where the castle is?" (obviously not exact quotation) on pointing to the castle they turned back to her and said "oh we thought that was a hotel"

[The Episiarch]

Personally overheard on Princes Street: Whilst pointing to the castle and chatting to his similarly American friend..."wow, that's really neat - I wonder where they put it in winter?"

No, I'm not kidding. No, I didn't pause to ask him what on earth he was talking about. The mind boggles.

For the record, I do know a large number of very witty and clever Americans.

[2JAYZ]

Edinburgh *does* have two castles, though. Admittedly, Princes St doesn't lead to Craigmillar Castle either so he'd still be put out - but it'd have been fun watching him try



What would have happened if he ended up in Craimillar and asked someone where the castle was? Mind boggles.

[Fmart322]

Hey now, I've see more then I care to see of some you guys over here in America. You guys don't always look as sharp as you think. Looks like you guys have a fat problem as well.
.................................................. .................................................. ...

There are four kinds of people in the UK -

First, there were the Scots who kept the Sabbath - and everything else they could lay their hands on.

Then there were the Welsh - who prayed on their knees and their neighbors.

Thirdly there were the Irish who never knew what they wanted - but were willing to fight for it anyway.

Lastly there were the English who considered themselves self-made men, - thus relieving the Almighty of a terrible responsibility.
.................................................. ..................................................

A battle weary American soldier boarded a crowded train in in London during the early days of post-WWII, only to discover he was unable to find a place to sit. As he walked the length of the train, he noticed a small white dog curled up on one of the seats. A large, well dressed woman sat in the seat next to the dog. The man hovered near the seat, hoping the woman would take the hint, but she pointedly ignored him.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," the soldier finally spoke, "Is this your dog? Would you mind holding it on your lap so that I may sit down?"

The woman raised her icy gaze to the young man and said in a haughty British accent, "oh! You Americans. You are so rude.
Fluffy is in that seat, and i see no reason why she should give up her comfort for you."

The exhausted soldier nodded, picked up the small dog ... leaned over ... opened the window of the moving train and tossed the dog out. The woman gaped and spluttered in horrified indignation, and the man sitting across from her lowered his newspaper.

"You Americans", he said, "You drive on the wrong side of the road ... you eat with the wrong fork ... and you just threw the wrong ***** out the window."
.................................................. .................................................. .

Here they are Miss England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales performing in the swinsuit competition.

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h154/PacIslandRoots/FatWomen.jpg

*Don't take it the wrong way, I like you guys and your country. ;-)

[Bertie Bassett]

No problem Fmart....one small detail you overlooked.....all of your stories are fictional.....ours (with maybe the exception of the 1st one) are true!

Is that a Dallas Cowboys star for your avatar?

[Fmart322]

No problem Fmart....one small detail you overlooked.....all of your stories are fictional.....ours (with maybe the exception of the 1st one) are true!

Is that a Dallas Cowboys star for your avatar?

Yea, I just found a few jokes and thought I'd throw them out there. Now, when ever I get to Florida and I run into tourists from Europe and England you do get a few strange birds. Just like you guys get over there.

And Yes, that is a Dallas Cowboys star for my avitar.

[Charles Darwin Esq]

Yea, I just found a few jokes and thought I'd throw them out there. Now, when ever I get to Florida and I run into tourists from Europe and England you do get a few strange birds. Just like you guys get over there.

And Yes, that is a Dallas Cowboys star for my avitar.
Surely England IS in Europe? That's Europe, Europe by the way :p

[Fmart322]

Surely England IS in Europe? That's Europe, Europe by the way :p

I'm missing what your trying to say here. Did I spell something wrong? I was under the impression that people from the British Isles didn't consider themselves Europeans. Was I wrong about that?

[Charles Darwin Esq]

I'm missing what your trying to say here. Did I spell something wrong? I was under the impression that people from the British Isles didn't consider themselves Europeans. Was I wrong about that?
SOME folk in the British Isles don't. The Republic of Ireland most certainly does (it uses the Euro for starters). I personally do.

The mistake you make here is thinking there's such a thing as a British nation.

[Charles Darwin Esq]

A bit more... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE)

[Fmart322]

SOME folk in the British Isles don't. The Republic of Ireland most certainly does (it uses the Euro for starters). I personally do.

The mistake you make here is thinking there's such a thing as a British nation.

OK, so the people of GB don't consider themselves as Europeans. Just Some do. **That's how I thought it was.
The People of Ireland do consider themselves as Europeans and they are part of the EU with the Euro as their currency. **I didn't know that.

I thought that England, Wales and Scotland form GB.

N.Ireland is just controlled by GB.

Ireland is it's own country.

http://alt-usage-english.org/Britisles.gif

[Charles Darwin Esq]

OK, geography lesson :D

Great Britain is the island which Scotland, England and Wales belong to.
Ireland is the island containing the Irish Republic and Northern Ireland.
The British Isles is the collective name for the islands of Great Britain, Ireland and the smaller satelite islands.

The British Isles contain 2 sovereign states:
1) The United Kingdom (UK)
2) The Republic of Ireland (RoI)

The UK consists of Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Both the UK and RoI are members of the European Union, though only the RoI uses the standard European currency of the Euro.

Scotland, Wales and Ireland have devolved governments within the framework of the UK, but Scotland voted in a Nationalist government at the beginning of this month, so hopefully it won't be too long before the British Isles have THREE sovereign states: UK, RoI and Scotland :D

Have I lost you yet? ;)

[Fmart322]

A bit more... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE)

I swear every time I see this kind of stuff it scares me. I mean, how do you not know where country's like Iran and N.Korea are? The triangle has how many side? Oh boy.
In fairness to my fellow Americans, they ask "X" amount of people these question. The people who get questions correct don't make the film clip, because that wouldn't be funny. Now the people who voted for George Bush, especially the ones who voted for him in both elections, are the real ******ed Americans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2YTxum99jo&mode=related&search=

Just to show you with maps where America has gotten dumber over the years.

Here, we start out smart;
(blue states = smart, red = dumb)

http://www.netpoliticsgroup.com/womenvote/files%5C/1992with2004.gif

See how over 8 years the American people grew dumber?

http://www.netpoliticsgroup.com/womenvote/files%5C/2000with2004.gif

Untill this is what were now left with. Sad really.

http://majikthise.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cartopgraph_0.png

you can just watch the red states getting dumb over 6 months with this map.

http://toykeeper.net/soapbox/reform/gfx/vote-anim-2004.gif

[Fmart322]

OK, geography lesson :D

Great Britain is the island which Scotland, England and Wales belong to.
Ireland is the island containing the Irish Republic and Northern Ireland.
The British Isles is the collective name for the islands of Great Britain, Ireland and the smaller satelite islands.

The British Isles contain 2 sovereign states:
1) The United Kingdom (UK)
2) The Republic of Ireland (RoI)

The UK consists of Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Both the UK and RoI are members of the European Union, though only the RoI uses the standard European currency of the Euro.

Scotland, Wales and Ireland have devolved governments within the framework of the UK, but Scotland voted in a Nationalist government at the beginning of this month, so hopefully it won't be too long before the British Isles have THREE sovereign states: UK, RoI and Scotland :D

Have I lost you yet? ;)

No, not at all. For the most part that's what I figured. I didn't know that N.Ireland was also part of UK. (sorry for calling the UK GB) I thought it was under it's own, but minimal power.
I knew there were 2 sovereign countries that make up the British Isles. Ireland and the UK.

See, now I didn't know that Wales and Scotland had governments within the framework of the UK. I thought they were more like sections of the UK (Like American States) and I didn't think they were as seperate as you're telling me. With Scotland becoming a sovereign state I guess it would it be like if say, New York left the US to become their own country? Independant, yet still a vital part of the UK?

Thanks for the geography lesson. You won't see me on one of those stupid Americans shows now! (You wouldn't have before)

By the way, I live in New Jersey. The state that's right in the middle of where all the terrorist attacks were on 9-11.

[Charles Darwin Esq]

With Scotland becoming a sovereign state I guess it would it be like if say, New York left the US to become their own country? Independant, yet still a vital part of the UK?
No, if and when Scotland becomes independent it will no longer be a part of the UK and London will have zero say over how it's governed. No different to the Republic of Ireland or even the USA.

Personally, I can't wait till that happens.

[Fmart322]

No, if and when Scotland becomes independent it will no longer be a part of the UK and London will have zero say over how it's governed. No different to the Republic of Ireland or even the USA.

Personally, I can't wait till that happens.

Wow, no kidding. They'll be that much independant of the UK. Why do you want Scotland to leave the UK so much? Will N.Ireland do the same. How about the Welch? Will the UK remove the Scotish flag out of the union jack and change their flag? Or will they just use the English flag?

http://vari.blogs.com/blog/images/english.flag.gif

Will they incorperate the Welch flag somehow?

http://www.overlawyered.com/images/FlagofWales.jpg

They'll keep the N.Irish flag in there.

http://www.grandorange.org.uk/images/St%20Patricks%20Flag.JPG
http://www.usflags.com/images/products/irelandn.gif


I guess Scotland will go with their blue flag with a white "X".

http://www.freewebs.com/squadron-40/Scotland%20flag.jpg

http://www.computer-2tr.com/Ireland/_images/flags/Flags_of_the_Union_Jack.jpg


Now, don't laugh at me for this question because the only reason I found this site is for the hot babes thread. Other then that thread I haven't read to much here.
I know this is a message board for the LiviLions, a Football club. Where are they located, Scotland? What city do they reside in?

[Charles Darwin Esq]

Livingston is a growing town which is approx 15 miles west of Edinburgh. The football (soccer) club is called Livingston FC, nickname Livi Lions. We already have 1 US-based fan who has actually come over to watch the team play. He's based in Ohio. Be good to have a "Noo Joisee" member too :D

As for the politics, well Scotland was joined to England against the will of the people back in 1707, and the wish to reclaim our independence has never gone away. Recently it's taken a massive leap forward and is now closer than ever before to becoming a reality. There are people for and against Scottish independence here, but I'm a definate for.

Union Flag - Your diagram pretty much explains how it came to be. Only things not explained fully are:

Ireland (the red X): this is St Patrick's cross which was added to the flag in 1819 to show how the Brits now owned the whole of Ireland. When the South broke free in 1921, the Brits never changed the flag, so really it shouldn't be there.

Wales: the English considered Wales to be one of it's provinces, so it's only representation in the Union Flag is in the form of England's red St George Cross. If I was Welsh, I'd be pretty ****ed off at this!

Scotland: they've used the wrong shade of blue for 200+ years now as St Andrew's Cross is a much paler blue (pantone 300). The Brits thought the darker blue looked better on Naval vessels!

When Scotland breaks away from the UK, I would hope they remove the blue from that flag. I suspect they'll just invent a new one anyway. Wales may similarly go independent after that, but I couldn't say for sure. Northern Ireland has far deeper issues when it comes to beloning to the UK, so I suspect they won't wish to leave it in any great hurry.

Hope this helps.

[Draca]

As for the politics, well Scotland was joined to England against the will of the people back in 1707, and the wish to reclaim our independence has never gone away.

A version with less spin: The powers-that-were in both England and Scotland separately voted in Acts of Parliament that dissolved the said Parliaments in favour of a joint one. What Charlie is trying to allude to is that neither process was democratic in the sense that we know it today. His sense that it was against the will of the people cannot, of course, be proved because there was no popular vote. Having said that, the policy was not *universally* welcomed in either country but when the money came in from the Empire the questioners seemed to disappear

[Charles Darwin Esq]

A version with less spin: The powers-that-were in both England and Scotland separately voted in Acts of Parliament that dissolved the said Parliaments in favour of a joint one. What Charlie is trying to allude to is that neither process was democratic in the sense that we know it today. His sense that it was against the will of the people cannot, of course, be proved because there was no popular vote. Having said that, the policy was not *universally* welcomed in either country but when the money came in from the Empire the questioners seemed to disappear
Scotland-wide rioting would perhaps suggest the Union was not universally welcome by those not empowered with the vote. Still, your less-slanted version is probably more informative for a neutral.

[Pedro]

It's only less slanted dependant on your starting position.

It could be argued equally that the union was against the will of the people.

[Draca]

Scotland-wide rioting would perhaps suggest the Union was not universally welcome by those not empowered with the vote. Still, your less-slanted version is probably more informative for a neutral.

So, can we also assume that the lack of rioting in the following 300 years suggests that the populace of Scotland changed their minds about Union?

[Draca]

It's only less slanted dependant on your starting position.

It could be argued equally that the union was against the will of the people.

Correct. With no firm figures we are in the land of speculation - but I don't think anybody would have any problems with the statement 'not universally popular'

[Charles Darwin Esq]

So, can we also assume that the lack of rioting in the following 300 years suggests that the populace of Scotland changed their minds about Union?
Given that the Jacobite risings of 1715, 1719 and 1745 had "No Union" as a slogan, I'd say the feeling was still fairly intense, and its dilution had more to do with the failure of the final venture (and subsequent retribution) than an embracing of the Frankenstein state.

[Draca]

Given that the Jacobite risings of 1715, 1719 and 1745 had "No Union" as a slogan, I'd say the feeling was still fairly intense, and its dilution had more to do with the failure of the final venture (and subsequent retribution) than an embracing of the Frankenstein state.

For fecks sake man. You're not trying to tell us that the Jacobites were more to do with Scottish Independence rather than the dynastic and religious struggles of the UK ruling classes, are you? The '15 and '19, I'm no expert on (although the dim recollections I have suggest that neither were 'universally popular' in Scotland) but, during the '45, someone should have told your namesake that Derby was extending the border just a little bit :D

It is an interesting what-if though: What if Scotland *was* the limit of the exiled Stuarts' ambitions. Could the Bonnie Prince have made a go of it after conquering the country

[Charles Darwin Esq]

No, you implied that the Union had been accepted, but as the events described above show this was not the case. What I'm saying is that whilst the Stuart's dynastic ambitions were one motivating factor, for many (particularly in the Highlands) the end of the Union was as big a cause to go to war for. The horrific cost the north paid however was enough to silence the opposing voices, and a general acceptance followed.

As for your "what if", Prince Charles had already effectively conquered Scotland and perhaps should've been content with that instead of making for London and more power.

[Draca]

No, you implied that the Union had been accepted, but as the events described above show this was not the case. What I'm saying is that whilst the Stuart's dynastic ambitions were one motivating factor, for many (particularly in the Highlands) the end of the Union was as big a cause to go to war for. The horrific cost the north paid however was enough to silence the opposing voices, and a general acceptance followed.


We're into shades of 'universality' again, I fear. I would respectfully suggest that the Jacobite uprisings were of a fundamentally different character that riots that marked the beginnings of Union. As, you yourself say, those riots were Scotland wide: the support for the Jacobites was less well evidenced - an example being shown by the citizens of Glasgow. You also neglect to mention a third, religious, motivation of the Jacobite cause. The majority of the Highlanders who rallied to the Stuart flag were (I believe) Catholic - an objection to Union being that it was a hard-nosed Protestant arrangement rather than necessarily politically unpalatable (if you can indeed separate the religion and politics of the time). Had the Stuarts been allowed to maintain their ascendancy while coverting to Catholicism then (I know, what-if) would there have been a similar uprising?

As for your "what if", Prince Charles had already effectively conquered Scotland

That's what I'd thought I'd implied

[Charles Darwin Esq]

I guess that in those days church and state were pretty much one and the same. The Catholic (and in a great many cases Episcopalian) Highlanders regarded the Union as a Protestant imposition, as you quite rightly said. Religion was indeed a determining factor, but given the state=church scenario it was still an uprising against the Union.

Had the Prince not turned back at Derby, you may very well be right in considering the possibility of a Protestant counter-rising. But like the concept of stopping at the border, this is one of those "what ifs" we'll never really know for sure.

Aren't we deep tonight? :D